I’m still learning how to be. Every day is a process of deconstructing “the rules” I adopted at a young age and strived to achieve. This includes the rules related to big holidays like Thanksgiving.

Once I decided to stop “faking it,” I realized how much needless pressure I’ve been putting on myself the past 39 years.

And Thanksgiving is a big pressure holiday.

The first year after after my mother-in-law passed away, my father-in-law suggested we order Thanksgiving from a local grocery store. THE HORROR!!!

I flipped. No way was my beloved husband going to spend his first Thanksgiving without his mother feasting on store-cooked goods. So naturally, I took on organizing the entire feast.

It wasn’t my first time. I’d helped my mother and grandmother for years, and thanks to watching a long-ago TODAY Show segment featuring Martha Stewart, I know exactly how to crisp a turkey.

Fast-forward to the Thanksgiving after becoming a mom on Oct. 30.

For some insane reason, I decided to host all of our family for a HUGE thanksgiving at my house…less than ONE MONTH after my son was born. Oh, and his birth wasn’t at all like I’d planned, so we spent a couple days in the NICU before going home.

I remember refusing suggestions for store-bought items, even though let’s face it – most of my Thanksgiving feast IS a store-bought item requiring very little preparation at my house.

On Thanksgiving night, I remember nursing my son in the bedroom while sobbing and telling my husband I’d made a mistake. That was nine years ago.

So what makes this Thanksgiving different?

I am accepting help.

As you know, I’m a contributor to Flagstaff Moms Blog, and an opportunity came up to visit our local Wildflower Bread Company and sample some of their Thanksgiving pre-order offerings. I jumped at the chance.

We’re traveling for this Thanksgiving, and I want to contribute without showing up with grocery bags of supplies and requesting time to bake pies (from a can) or crescent rolls (also from a can).

I went in there to try some pie, and walked out with a hefty pre-order of some delicious, freshly-baked items. Read about the items I tried and how to get your own by clicking here.

I would not (did not) accept this kind of help a few years ago.

The negative, perfectionist voice still inside me whispers that it’s because I’ve “given up,” but I know better. I’m learning. I’m becoming wiser. And I’m very #Thankful.

Much Love – H

(originally published on LifesETC.com 11/18/17)