Christmas is over. It’s Dec. 28, and though my fresh cut, decorated tree is still making my house smell wonderful, it feels over.
I joked with my husband last night that it feels like we’re returning to our “regularly scheduled programming” and I am not ready for it or want it. He went back to work today. I still have the week off with the kids. It’s something I should be excited about, but instead feel more like I’m barely going to survive.
What’s different? Why was it last week I couldn’t get enough and this week I feel stuck in some sort of purgatory – dreading New Year’s Eve and the full return to normal?
I think my problem with the whole after-Christmas zone is that I really do want it to be like Christmas all year round.
- I want to be super excited to see my kids gorgeous little faces before the sun rises instead of begrudgingly rolling out of bed and reaching for coffee.
- I want to be willing to stay up late with my husband and laugh and giggle (albeit not while wrapping presents) instead of turning my back to him and saying “love you,” as I decide to drift to sleep to the sound of our bedroom TV.
- I want to have my kids eyes filled with the magic shown each day when they search for their Elf on the Shelf, rather than uncertainty at the scary things taking place in our world today.
- I want to be excited for family to visit instead of making a list of what we need to rearrange or skip in order to accommodate their stay.
Christmas is a magical time of year – one when everything else stops: The work, the sports, the tutors, the morning rush to get to school. We focus only on each other, and let our love shine through. And I really want that to be my normal programming.
Just one day after Christmas, my husband and I were already snappy with each other and the kids. My tiny 4-year-old daughter sat us down and explained to us that we needed to have a talk. She went on to tell us how her powers and our powers are trapped, and how we need to stop yelling and stop “talking frustrated” and just let our love out and then we’ll all be powerful. It was a powerful speech.
And it is so true: Life, at least sometimes in my life, I let life get in the way of LOVE.
I usually spend NYE pulling together a ridiculous list of resolutions I barely keep through the month of January. I think this year, I’m going to ditch the weight loss resolution (because, come on…how many years can you keep resolving the same darn thing!), ditch the other “to do” list resolutions and just make ONE strong resolution: To live my life based on love, rather than loving according to what’s going on in life.
Christmas can’t be year-round. But the love I feel at Christmas might be able to.
Much love – H
(originally published on LifesETC.com 12/28/15)