I’m breaking down the walls of “Oh, sweetie, it’s just another day!” and laying out the honest-to-goodness “Do’s and Don’ts” of Mother’s Day Gift Giving. You can thank me later. 😉

DO NOT

Give me quality time with the kids. I know they’re the reason I’m being celebrated and all…and I LOVE being a mom, I do…but giving me extra time with the kids is something I’m gifted pretty darn often and honestly, I’m kinda totally hoping for ANYTHING ELSE.

Give me a project. I don’t care how crafty a mom is – she does NOT want to be presented with a cool new project on Mother’s Day. Projects = work = mess = more work. Get it?

Give me anything related to losing weight. Yes, I talk about needing to trim down. No, I do not want to focus on that fact on Mother’s Day. I mean…part of the reason I’m carrying around these extra pounds has to do with chasing my monsters (I mean, adorable angels) and consistently choosing sleep over getting up and exercising.

Make a mess making me breakfast. And for the love of all things holy – do NOT let the children try to navigate a tray full of food and a glass of orange juice up the stairs. That is a disaster waiting to happen…a disaster, that the hubby will attempt to clean and mom will need to actually clean.

Seriously though – unless you plan to make the kitchen spotless when you’re done. Don’t go making an elaborate breakfast for mom. We’re just fine with our granola bar and coffee…and clean kitchen.

Casually suggest going to a restaurant at 5 p.m. It’s MOTHER’S DAY!!! The restaurants are packed with families who did this exact thing. They all descend at dinner and then are surprised by the massive wait times.

Massive wait times = cranky, hungry kids = mom corralling cranky, hungry kids = cranky, hungry, pissed off mom.

Plan a gift of a late-night at-home massage. We see right through that shit! If you’re going to gift me a massage on Mother’s Day, it better be by a licensed professional who is not expecting a Happy Ending!

DO

Let me sleep in. And I mean REALLY sleep in!!! Like, you’ll probably need to take the kids somewhere so that I can’t hear them screaming at each other downstairs. Because I can’t seem to sleep when surrounded by total chaos.

Have the kids make me a card. Seriously…I will love homemade cards way more than whatever Hallmark came up with. They don’t need to be fancy. Just a piece of paper folded in half with their scribbles all over the place.

Give me the gift of time. It’s what every mom needs more of. If you really want to blow my mind on Mother’s Day, coordinate with one of my best gal friends’ husband, pick a movie time and send us to the movies together. Or schedule that massage for me and kick me out of the house for a couple hours. Or even, give me some cash and tell me to go shopping…alone…just because.

You’ll probably spend way less and it will mean way more to us than whatever necklace was on sale at the jewelry store!

Incorporate the kids. I love them. I want to spend time with them. I want to spend time as a family having fun and making memories. So don’t shuffle them off to a babysitter or anything like that.

Mother’s Day is a delicate balance between giving us enough time away from and with the kids…sorry…that’s just the way it is!

Order pizza and serve me wine. This goes back to the whole “not focusing on my needing to lose weight” thing. You know pizza and wine are my crack. Give them to me on Mother’s Day!

Put the kids to bed early, but plan to stay up late! One of the most challenging aspects of becoming a mom is losing the identity of the girl we were before. That includes our identity as your wife…when we as a couple were carefree with no responsibilities.

So, flirt with me. Make me feel wanted all day long. And then commit to being the bedtime police while we stay up and watch one of our favorite hilarious and horribly inappropriate movies.

Did I miss anything ladies? Add it in the comments.

And fingers crossed my own hubby (a subscriber to my site) takes the time to read this list before Sunday!!! Hahaha.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Much Love, H

(originally posted on LifesETC.com 5/10/17)